Wise Men Say…
Wise men say…….. only fools rush in? On this almost April Fools Day episode we are looking at just that.
Join Cherese and her dad, in the first ever guest episode of Just Waiting for You. Get ready to laugh (and cringe) as Ken hilariously recounts his experience of getting a vasectomy and the miscommunication that brought about the procedure. This episode is a reminder that sometimes the anticipation of a hard conversation is much worse than the actual talk itself. And not nearly as bad as an unplanned vasectomy!
NOTE: This one probably isn’t for little ears, unless you’re ready to have “the talk”
Cherese – “Hey, friends, this is Cherese Lee and you're listening to the Just Waiting for You podcast. Whether the sun is shining where you are in life today, or you're walking through a crappy storm, and you really wish you got some rain boots. The power of a story is sometimes all you need for that perspective shift. Hang out with us for a few minutes and find out what happens when you realize that someone is just waiting for you.”
Cherese – “Hey, friends. Today we have a first experience ever here on the Just Waiting for You podcast and it's a treat. As you can tell, it's a little bit different today because I haven't sat in my line yet, so we're not ready for that, right. With me today, I have my dad, Ken Meadows, and we are just sitting here in my office having a beer.”
Cherese – “Cheers!”
Ken – “Cheers!”
Cherese – “Cheers!”
Ken – “Cheers to you!”
Cherese – “Very good.”
Cherese – “It's a beautiful, sunny day here in Tennessee. And my dad has agreed to be the first-ever guest on the podcast. And he is going to share a classic story from our family. Do you want to do it? All right. Do you want to say the line, or should I?”
Ken – “No, you.”
Cherese – “Okay. It's a story. It's just a story.”
Ken – “And it's more than a story. It's a true story.”
Cherese – “It’s just a story”.
Ken – “Just a story.”
Cherese – “What year was it? How old was I?”
Ken – “Cherese was four. Somewhere between four and five years old.”
Cherese – “Okay and I am the youngest of the family. I have an older brother.”
Ken – “She has an older brother. Four years older.”
Cherese – “Yes. So you had like, an eight-year-old and a four-year-old at the time?”
Ken – “Yeah, right around there”
Cherese – “And then what happened?”
Ken – “Well, my wife, Karen, and I had been talking about the possibility of not having any more children.”
Cherese – “Because I was so perfect.”
Ken – “Yeah, that’s what we had said.”
Cherese – “Obviously”
Ken – “We had the perfect child so why take a chance on anymore?”
Cherese – “Absolutely, I hope my brother Mike is listening.”
Ken – “Yeah so.”
Cherese – “Okay go ahead.”
Ken – “Believe that if you will. No, but anyway, we just I guess we couldn't make up her mind, so I thought we hadn’t discussed it in some time, so I just thought we had maybe could address it There was always that possibility.
Cherese – “But then you had a little, little scare.”
Ken – “Yeah, we had a little scare. We thought we were pregnant.”
Cherese – “Yeah.”
Ken – “And then a little while after that, we found out we weren't pregnant. And.”
Cherese – “And so you thought you were pregnant because this was the late seventies, and you couldn't just run down the street to the Walgreens and pee on a stick?”
Ken – “Exactly.”
Cherese – “Okay.”
Ken – “You just had to wait.”
Cherese – “So she said to you, I think I might be pregnant.”
Ken – “Yeah.”
Cherese – “Okay, and how did you react when she said that?”
Ken – “I was a little nervous. You know, we had two children, a mortgage payment, and I'm the only employed. And I'm thinking this may be a little tight, but. Okay, because you always think of that. How are you going to provide you want to provide.”
Cherese – “And, you know, for all the listeners, it might be helpful to tell them that you are an accountant.”
Ken – “Si.”
Cherese – “Yeah. And you're a CPA.”
Ken – “Yes.”
Cherese – “So maybe your mind would first go to your finances. Is that a fair statement?”
Ken – “That’s a fair statement. Yeah.” Cherese – “Mom was not of the financial. Really?”
Ken – “By no means.”
Cherese – “No, that was not her.”
Ken – “No, it was not no.”
Cherese – “okay, fair.” Okay, so you were a little nervous and wondering if this was a good idea for the family financially.”
Ken – “Exactly, yes.”
Cherese – “Maybe even panicked a little?”
Ken – “Well you may say that.”
Cherese – “Okay, and her reaction when she realized she wasn’t pregnant was?”
Ken – “Well kind of sad.”
Cherese – “Yeah.”
Ken – “Yeah, Because. Yeah, I would say kind of sad.”
Cherese – “Yeah”
Ken – “Kind of sad yeah.”
Cherese – “Yeah, but that was always, you know, you and mom, your relationship. You I feel like were always the she was the feeler in the relationship and you were the more type A-ish.”
Ken – “Exactly.”
Cherese – “Yeah. And so when you take a step back, I mean those are the responses you would expect from that couple, right?”
Ken – “Yeah.”
Cherese – “Yeah. Okay. So continue with the story.”
Ken – “So that having passed for a while, I guess, and hadn't really discussed it much after that. So we had we lived in a very small community, and we had our family doctor and he he was a family doctor for quite a few people there. So it was time for just a checkup. And I told Karen that I would pick her up at the office.”
Ken – “And it just so happened that the doctor also was also a good family friend as well. So I, I stopped by in was parked in the parking lot and she came out and she got in the car and the doctor's name, his initials he went by was D.J. She got in the car, and she said, Hi, honey. And I said, hey how you doing? And she said, Good.”
Ken – “she said, by the way, D.J. said, hi. I said, well, that's good. And he said, to give you this. And I said, oh, okay. I opened it and it was an appointment slip. And I looked at it and I said, appointment for me? I said, why do I have an appointment? She said, for your vasectomy. And I said, say what?”
Cherese – “So, you hadn’t talked about getting this thing?
Ken – “No!”
Cherese – “She just scheduled it on your behalf?”
Ken – “Yes. Yes, yes, she did.”
Cherese – “Did you say thanks?”
Ken – “I don't really recall what the words were exactly, but I don't think they were thanks.”
Cherese – “And so when she scheduled your vasectomy, you took that to mean what message from her?”
Ken – “We're not having any more children.” Cherese – “Yeah. Yeah. Okay, So you. Did you go to the vasectomy?’”
Ken – “Did you know your mother? Of course I went. Yeah, of course I went.”
Cherese – “You went?”
Ken – “Yeah.”
Cherese – “Yeah, and that was the end of that?”
Ken – “No.”
Cherese – “No it wasn’t the end of that.”
Ken – “No, it wasn’t the end.”
Cherese – “So, what happened after that?”
Ken – “So there were several things that happened. So I, I had the appointment scheduled and so it was in the afternoon of I don't remember the date, but I know the appointment was in the afternoon. So I did, I did the prepping. I have to say this in front of my daughter. I did the prepping.”
Cherese – “You can just be general; you don’t have to be specific.”
Ken – “Yeah, I did the prepping for the appointment, and so it was time for the appointment. And I went to D.J.’s office, and I went in. He greeted me, hey Ken how you doing? And I said, fine. He said he had an outpatient surgical room. He said go on into the surgery room and I'll be there shortly. And I said, Okay. He said, just get undressed and get under the sheet. And I said, fine, fine, I'll do that. So and I'm nervous, right.”
Cherese – “Because you haven’t scheduled this?” Ken – “No, this is not my idea. And I'm there. So. So I'm really nervous. So I go in and take off my clothes. I get under the sheet that's like a white sheet you have at home on your bed. So I'm laying there. And his nurse, his name was Sydney, a next-door neighbor of ours came in and said, Hi, Ken, how are you?
Ken – “And I said, hey, Sydney how are you? She said, fine. She said, I just came in to check on you. I said, That's great. And she's grabbed the sheet and pulled the sheet back completely and just looked around and said, hey, you did a great job. I usually have to do a touch up, but you did great thinking, and I’m thinking Holy crap.
Cherese – “I did not set up for this.”
Ken – “Well, I didn't sign up for this part either. Oh, I'm. This is good. And I'm telling you, that did not make being a next-door neighbor. That did not make for good yard talk.
Cherese – “No, I’m sure not.”
Ken – “In the summer working outside. No, no. So”
Cherese – “you said no, wait. I didn't even. I didn't know.”
Ken – “Yeah, yeah, I didn't know Sydney would be in there, but so he starts the procedure, and he gives me an injection and it seems like it takes a while, but. And it had some pain. So he, he was on this, you know, this roller chair, so, you know, so he moved back from there. And when he moved back, I moved off, was getting ready to get off the table.
Ken – “And in his words, he looked at me and said, Ken, where the hell you going? And I said, I'm going home D.J. And he said, With a one-sided vasectomy. I said, What? He said, I've only done the left side we now have to do the right. I said, Oh no. So I had to go through that whole procedure again. “
Cherese – “So, so here just I love that in small town southern West Virginia, the family doctor in the seventies did everything.”
Ken – “He did the whole thing, everything.”
Cherese – “My mom was there for her checkup. Then you went in surgery, and he didn't put you to sleep because, you know, it was just in the family doctor’s office.”
Ken – “Yeah that was exactly right.”
Ken – “Yeah, it was, it was a good ole boy.”
Cherese – “I guess it was.”
Ken – “It was.”
Cherese – “Yeah and so then the tables turn, and Mom picked you up from the office.”
Ken – “Yeah exactly. I hadn’t thought about that, but she picked me up smiling.”
Cherese – “Smiling, of course, yeah.”
Cherese – “And you recovered. You lived to tell the tale.”
Ken – “Oh, but there’s another story to that.”
Cherese – “Oh goodness. I don’t know if I know this part.”
Ken – “So, you may not. But as you know, you have to be tested to be sure, that there's no swimmers. So it came time and again it being a small town. Small hospital. St Francis. St Luke’s. So you have to take your uh specimen in for testing and everybody knows everybody there. Of course. So it was time for me to take that into the lab. And there were several people working there in the lab and knowing why I was there and what I was bringing, I walked in, and they all turned around and went (clapping noise).”
Cherese – “They clapped for you?”
Ken – “They clapped for me. They did.”
Cherese – “You had to have felt proud.”
Ken – “No.”
Cherese – “Did you say, but I didn’t sign up for this?”
Ken – “No I set it down and left. They knew why I was there. I set it down and left. That was a trip.”
Cherese – “Yeah that was a trip alright.”
Cherese – “Yeah. So. Okay, on a more serious note, yeah, I did not have any younger siblings?”
Ken – “No.”
Cherese – “No, and how did, how did that play out in the coming years?”
Ken – “Well, it probably made you more spoiled.”
Cherese – “Oh yeah, I was totally spoiled.”
Ken – “No, you know, you know, you have positive thoughts and negative thoughts. So I like, I like kids and I love having you and Mike, of course you know that. So I, I don't know. Kind of thinking that I do the right thing, you know.”
Cherese – “Well and and you and I have talked about this. I'm not springing anything on you on this part, but you and mom both over the years. VOICE some regret about that to me.”
Ken – “Sometimes you don't want to admit it, but.”
Cherese – “Yeah. And you and I have talked about how all of it came from that one pregnancy scare, right?
Ken – “Yeah, it did.”
Cherese – “Your first reaction when she said, I think I'm pregnant was, oh, no, is this going to be okay? Can we afford this? The providers nature, right?”
Ken – “Yeah.”
Cherese – “And she took that to mean, oh he's upset, and he doesn't want to have any more kids probably.”
Ken – “Probably.”
Cherese - “So then she schedules a vasectomy for you, and you take that to mean, oh, wow, she doesn't want to more kids. Am I right?”
Ken – “Yeah you are.”
Cherese – “And what actually never happened? The conversation.”
Ken – “No, conversation never happened.”
Cherese – “Never happened of saying, this is a decision, babe. Like one of us is going to have surgery. We're going to do something pretty permanent in those days permanent.”
Ken – “Yeah, in those days permanent.”
Cherese – “Are we sure? Are we sure? And so there was maybe a small communication break dad?”